Powerless

So many things have happened over the past couple months and sometimes I feel defeated. I have been changing and all that and its fine, I am probably in the best shape of my life right now as well as getting a lot done for work and getting props for it as well.

But recently I found out that my grandfather is going to die soon. Something inside of me is really really upset about this and it hurts a lot. I am going to possibly go see him if I can get it worked out with work and if I can get the money to fly down there on short notice.

If I go.. I'll be going with my mom and seeing people I have never seen before. Anyway, I want the patience to be able to hold on when everything is out of my control. I can do my best to keep my mind off of it and worry from afar but the truth is I am unable to change other people's situation.

I really hope my Grandfather does not actually die and that I am just being off. I just have been dealing with a lot of stress recently and need "something". I don't know what it is but I am trying my best to not dwell on it.

5K is Defeated!

I beat the 5k as close to my target time as possible. The next one is going to get beaten down pretty badly as I should be improving week to week with the training regimen I am on.

This weekend, hopefully, will follow the trend of sunny weather I have been seeing. I am greatly interested in exploring more of the Penninsula area on a hike Saturday morning. I swear it better stay this nice for a while!

In other news: Obama's money might lead me to get a toy that I have been looking into recently. It will be pretty useful and it will serve as a computer hub for me where I would normally need to have a big ole' laptop.

We'll see... I am real anxious for this!

Sore From Basketball..

I played basketball for about 30-40minutes yesterday and then jogged a couple miles on the treadmill. I am very very sore. I hope that I am able to give myself enough rest to recover in full form this coming Saturday.

ON another note.. my heart is lifted every time I get to see her.

179

Appointment + GYM

I can't wait until my appointment and the GYM tonight. I think it'll free some stress for me and make me feel a little better.

188.

Needed Shoes

I really wanted some new shoes because I felt like the shoe was starting to give out on me. Anyway, they look awesome. I intend to use these tonight to work off stress instead of playing games.

repetition

playing the same song over and over doesn't help.

I swear I am a bit nervous

Vi is going to come home and I really want to surprise her with the news from this weekend and tell her everything that happened. I feel like my better half is going to be on this side of the U.S. in only 11 hours.

UGH! God I MISS her so much. Even though we are broken up.. I just wanna talk to her and tell her everything.

Anyway - I loaded all the extra clothes to send to the Philippines into my car in separate plastic bags. My mom says that they send these clothes to their village and then they distribute them.

Before my mom packs them into a box I might double check and see if there is something I just want to keep in my closet in EG; however, I have gotten rid of my "big" clothes because I am not going to turn back and regress again. I am going to maintain my body / mind / resolve.

Oh and if anyone cares...

6-0 at Stockton tournament. I used the money to get something for Vi and I. Its... too good.