Powerless

So many things have happened over the past couple months and sometimes I feel defeated. I have been changing and all that and its fine, I am probably in the best shape of my life right now as well as getting a lot done for work and getting props for it as well.

But recently I found out that my grandfather is going to die soon. Something inside of me is really really upset about this and it hurts a lot. I am going to possibly go see him if I can get it worked out with work and if I can get the money to fly down there on short notice.

If I go.. I'll be going with my mom and seeing people I have never seen before. Anyway, I want the patience to be able to hold on when everything is out of my control. I can do my best to keep my mind off of it and worry from afar but the truth is I am unable to change other people's situation.

I really hope my Grandfather does not actually die and that I am just being off. I just have been dealing with a lot of stress recently and need "something". I don't know what it is but I am trying my best to not dwell on it.