Powerless

So many things have happened over the past couple months and sometimes I feel defeated. I have been changing and all that and its fine, I am probably in the best shape of my life right now as well as getting a lot done for work and getting props for it as well.

But recently I found out that my grandfather is going to die soon. Something inside of me is really really upset about this and it hurts a lot. I am going to possibly go see him if I can get it worked out with work and if I can get the money to fly down there on short notice.

If I go.. I'll be going with my mom and seeing people I have never seen before. Anyway, I want the patience to be able to hold on when everything is out of my control. I can do my best to keep my mind off of it and worry from afar but the truth is I am unable to change other people's situation.

I really hope my Grandfather does not actually die and that I am just being off. I just have been dealing with a lot of stress recently and need "something". I don't know what it is but I am trying my best to not dwell on it.

5K is Defeated!

I beat the 5k as close to my target time as possible. The next one is going to get beaten down pretty badly as I should be improving week to week with the training regimen I am on.

This weekend, hopefully, will follow the trend of sunny weather I have been seeing. I am greatly interested in exploring more of the Penninsula area on a hike Saturday morning. I swear it better stay this nice for a while!

In other news: Obama's money might lead me to get a toy that I have been looking into recently. It will be pretty useful and it will serve as a computer hub for me where I would normally need to have a big ole' laptop.

We'll see... I am real anxious for this!

Sore From Basketball..

I played basketball for about 30-40minutes yesterday and then jogged a couple miles on the treadmill. I am very very sore. I hope that I am able to give myself enough rest to recover in full form this coming Saturday.

ON another note.. my heart is lifted every time I get to see her.

179

Appointment + GYM

I can't wait until my appointment and the GYM tonight. I think it'll free some stress for me and make me feel a little better.

188.

Needed Shoes

I really wanted some new shoes because I felt like the shoe was starting to give out on me. Anyway, they look awesome. I intend to use these tonight to work off stress instead of playing games.

repetition

playing the same song over and over doesn't help.

I swear I am a bit nervous

Vi is going to come home and I really want to surprise her with the news from this weekend and tell her everything that happened. I feel like my better half is going to be on this side of the U.S. in only 11 hours.

UGH! God I MISS her so much. Even though we are broken up.. I just wanna talk to her and tell her everything.

Anyway - I loaded all the extra clothes to send to the Philippines into my car in separate plastic bags. My mom says that they send these clothes to their village and then they distribute them.

Before my mom packs them into a box I might double check and see if there is something I just want to keep in my closet in EG; however, I have gotten rid of my "big" clothes because I am not going to turn back and regress again. I am going to maintain my body / mind / resolve.

Oh and if anyone cares...

6-0 at Stockton tournament. I used the money to get something for Vi and I. Its... too good.

Always Fall for your Type.

I really love this song. I am hoping everything works out with Vi after we get to talk when she gets home. She's everything to me and I have been making stupid mistakes and decisions.

"How are you supposed to find someone new, if anyone doesn't come with you" - Drake. I liked this line because... ya.. I hella like Vi and I hella don't want anything else. <3 no more cheese..

Go-Kart Racing

I am going to pick a weekend for this and plan it on facebook. I think I will invite the guys from bowling as well as some Sacramento/SF folks as well.

http://www.gokartracer.com/

This place is cheaper than the alternative nearby so hopefully people can make the drive so that they can race.

Yup! Decided

It sounds "extreme" but I finally figured out what I have been feeling for several months regarding myself and gaming. I just do not have the time to pursue "pro-gaming" as much as I had wanted and over the last couple years I have started to just get dulled by the whole experience.

I have had a great few years with competitive street fighter and achievement farming on my xbox 360; but, I think it is time to take my life a bit more seriously than I have been.

Recently I have stated that 2k11 was going to be a better/different year for me and I meant that. I have been losing weight consistently, striving to do a better job at work, and really embracing running as a way to relieve stress over video games now.

Running to me is dual purpose: I get to exercise and I also have a lot of fun pushing myself and keeping track of my progress on nikerunning.com. I forgot my shoes this weekend even though I have a sweet new gym bag.. but I am going to lift some weights and relax tonight.

I think that switching away from games into more physical activities and also seriously signing up for some runs / a GMAT test will really sharpen my focus over the next few months. I really want to hit that goal of weighing 175.

Anyway! I am happy with my decision to put games on the backburner for a while.

Just Tired Lately

I'm quitting games.. among other things.

Sugar - Why I try to stay away

I try to stay away from sugar and especially high-fructose corn syrup because I watched this video. It help me shed weight pretty quickly and I am confident that I will have long term benefits in the form of "no negatives" from the excess sugar.

I thought it would be good to have this up somewhere else so that other people can know about it.